"It's None Of My Business What You Think Of Me"

“You can't sweep other people of their feet if you can’t be swept off your own.”

-Clarence Day

Wow! I feel such freedom and expansiveness in my heart, mind, and soul when I truly don’t care what you think about me. I have shared in my previous blogs that I am a recovering people pleaser, always putting myself last and you first. Being raised by the nuns in my youth didn’t help much, because I was taught to help others first. When I lived my life that way, I felt resentful when I put myself last, because my emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical tank was on empty. I chronically helped those who needed my help, because I needed to feel needed and to get your approval. I was drained and being inauthentic to both you and me!

When I became widowed and a single mother, I was thrown into a period when I had no time to help you, neighbors, strangers, and the homeless. I was also judged by many around me, not knowing that my child was special needs, and immediately thought somehow it must be the mother’s fault. Being thrown into a period in my life when I had to say “no” to friends, relatives, and strangers was very painful. I craved your approval and disdained your disappointment when I had to say “no”. Also, being criticized for my parenting without truly understanding my situation, created an opening to not so quickly judge others when I am someone on the outside looking in.

In high school my nickname was permagrin. I wore an inauthentic smile and wanted to please everyone and everything, but was slowly dying inside. It took me months in therapy to learn to smile on the inside. It took years of trials and tribulations to become real, authentic, and to help others after my emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical tank was filled first. Though all that I have been through, I can say my smile is genuine! I can also say that I really don’t care what you think of me ( most of the time)! What true freedom that is!

There are those people that are always quick to judge and complain, but that is none of my business. When I am minding my own business it thrives. When I am minding your business, my business fails. 

To learn more about Susan Foxley's life coaching workshops and her current events join her mailing list on her website. Namaste.