The Love Lens: How to See More of What You Want In Your Life

I walked out of yoga, feeling grounded and open, and a woman walked right up to me with a T-shirt that said: Joy. Love. Peace. The biggest word on her shirt? LOVE.

Minutes later, I went into the bank to make a deposit. The teller greeted me with a smile, dressed in a bright red sweater covered in white hearts. I complimented her, and she beamed: “This is my favorite sweater.”

Later, riding bikes with my husband by the beach, I saw a young woman threading bracelets, carefully placing letters together to spell LOVE.

Then we stopped by the Main Street library to take a selfie together. As I looked up from the camera, I noticed a mural across the street — a massive wall covered in the word LOVE again and again and again, as if the universe was echoing back my focus.

Coincidence? No. That was my reticular activating system at work.

What Is the Reticular Activating System?

Your RAS is like the spotlight operator of your brain. It sits at the base of your brain stem, filtering the endless flood of information that comes at you every second. Without it, you’d be overwhelmed. With it, you selectively notice what aligns with your focus.

It’s the reason that when you’re pregnant, you suddenly see baby bumps everywhere. When you buy a Volvo, you notice every other Volvo on the road. When you fall in love with a cockapoo, suddenly they’re trotting around every corner of your neighborhood.

Your RAS doesn’t decide what’s “true.” It decides what’s relevant. And what’s relevant is dictated by your thoughts, your emotions, and the story you tell yourself every day.

The Law of Attraction Meets Neuroscience

Here’s where the magic happens: the reticular activating system is biology’s way of proving the law of attraction.

The law of attraction says, “What you focus on expands.” Your RAS is the neurological tool that makes this real. It listens to your inner dialogue — your “I am” statements, your quiet beliefs, your daily mantras — and it starts highlighting evidence in the outside world to confirm them.

Think of it as your personal Google search bar. Type in “love,” and suddenly the world around you becomes a love-fest of T-shirts, sweaters, bracelets, and murals. Type in “lack,” and you’ll see bills, disappointments, and closed doors.

Your RAS is neutral. It doesn’t judge. It simply amplifies whatever you’ve asked it to notice.

Neuroplasticity: Training the Spotlight

The good news? You can train it.

Through neuroplasticity — your brain’s ability to rewire itself — you get to decide where the spotlight shines. By practicing gratitude, repeating affirmations, visualizing, and gently redirecting your focus when it wanders into negativity, you lay down new neural pathways.

At first, it feels awkward, like trying to ride a bike in the sand. But the more you practice, the smoother it gets. Eventually, your RAS begins to effortlessly scan the horizon for proof of your new story: abundance, health, creativity, joy, love.

It’s not that the negative disappears. It’s that your brain learns to filter it out. You stop watering weeds and start tending roses.

A Playful Experiment

Here’s something fun:

For the next week, choose one word. Just one. Maybe it’s peace, joy, health, or love. Write it down. Whisper it before bed. Say it when you wake up. Put it in your pocket like a secret charm.

Then notice. Watch as your RAS starts gathering “coincidences” — a song lyric, a billboard, a conversation you overhear, a stranger’s T-shirt. That’s your inner spotlight proving that what you seek is seeking you.

Philosophy in Action

Philosophers have said for centuries that “As a man thinketh, so is he.” The Buddha taught, “What you think, you become.” Viktor Frankl reminded us that even in the harshest conditions, we can choose our focus.

The reticular activating system is your built-in assistant for living this truth. It’s the part of you that helps turn thought into reality, perception into experience.

The Real Love Diet isn’t just about what you feed your body. It’s about what you feed your mind. Your RAS is proof that your mental diet matters.

The Invitation

So — what will you feed your RAS today?

Will you hand it a menu of complaints, or a menu of gratitude? Will you fill it with fear, or with love? Remember, it’s listening. It’s always ready to highlight whatever you choose.

The miracle is this: when you align your thoughts with love, your whole world begins to whisper it back to you. On shirts. On sweaters. On bracelets. On murals. Everywhere.

And that, my friends, is living the Real Love Diet.

PS. Subscribe to my YouTube Live❤️ @susanfoxley The Real Love Lounge. ❤️ Also, my newest book, “The Real Love Diet” is coming out in 2026! ❤️ And remember to always, always, always go where the love is. 🫶