The Gift Of Fresh Eyes

The Gift of Fresh Eyes

“Familiarity breeds contempt.” How true those words can feel when life grows comfortable and routine. We forget to cherish what’s right in front of us—the partner who shares our bed, the sibling we grew up with, the colleague who quietly supports us, or even the neighbor who smiles as we walk by.

The truth is, we can so easily take for granted the very people who give our lives color, meaning, and grounding.

• When we’ve been married a long time.

• When we’ve held the same steady job for years.

• When we assume our siblings or friends will always be there.

• When neighbors wave hello, and we barely notice.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross once wrote:

“It’s only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on Earth—and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up—that we will begin to live each day to the fullest.”

That teaching landed deeply in me. From her work on death and dying, I’ve interpreted her message this way: treat others as if it were the last time you might see them; say what needs to be said, clean things up, take care of unfinished business. We never know when we will—or will not—get another chance.

A Story That Changed Everything

It was June 1997. My late husband came home late to watch our son Ben so I could go to my Al-Anon meeting. His lateness irritated me. I was short with him—snappy, sharp, unkind. I remember thinking, “Now I’ll be thirty minutes late.”

Later that day, something inside nudged me. I called him:

“I’m so sorry. Please forgive me for my crankiness earlier. I love you.”

Those turned out to be my last words to him. He died only hours later.

That phone call—those words—changed how I see every relationship in my life. It was grace. It was God. It was the Real Love Diet at work.

Clean Up the Heart

On this diet of love, we clean up unfinished business. We say what needs to be said. We forgive quickly. We release resentments. We look at the people in our lives with fresh eyes, as if we are seeing them for the very first—or the very last—time.

• Write down resentments. Look for your part.

• Remember: “Expectations are resentments under construction.”

• Release people from your scripts. Let them be who they are. As the 12-Step wisdom reminds us: Going to the hardware store for milk will only leave you empty-handed.

The Bible whispers through eternity: “Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do.” Most of us are simply doing the best we can with what we have.

Reframe Familiarity into Wonder

On the Real Love Diet, there is no contempt. Only wonder. We love people exactly as they are, appreciating the quirks, the flaws, the gifts. We recognize that these souls are not in our lives by accident—they are teachers, mirrors, and companions placed for a higher purpose.

When you look at your partner, your children, your friends, even the cashier at the grocery store—ask yourself:

✨ If this was the last time I saw them, how would I want to leave this moment?

That question shifts everything. Irritation softens. Gratitude blooms. Love flows.

Breakthroughs to Carry Forward

• Take 100% responsibility for your part in resentments.

• Forgive often and quickly—resentment is poison, forgiveness is medicine.

• Release expectations—accept people fully for who they are.

• Speak love aloud—never assume they already know.

On the Real Love Diet, we don’t starve ourselves of connection by taking others for granted. Instead, we nourish ourselves and others by seeing with fresh eyes, forgiving with open hearts, and speaking love freely.

Because the truth is, we never know if this moment is the last. And what a blessing it is to leave the world—and our relationships—on a note of love.

Come join us at the “REAL LOVE LOUNGE” the first Sunday of every month from 6:30-7:30pm to learn tips and tools on how to manifest more love in your life whether you are single, married, young, or old. ❤️ Click here: Real Love Lounge YouTube Live September Edition❤️