From the Pity Party to the Conspiracy for Greatness

A Real Love Diet Entry on Releasing Victim Consciousness

Michael Beckwith teaches that human evolution moves through four stages:

things happen to me, by me, through me, and ultimately as me.

But almost all of us begin in the very first stage—the victim stage.

And this entry is devoted to compassionately calling that out… and gently moving beyond it.

According to Michael Beckwith, the victim stage is where life feels like it’s happening to us. We are at the mercy of circumstances, conditions, people, places, and things. We blame. We react. We feel powerless.

And honestly? I lived there for years.

As a single mother.

Widowed.

Raising a special-needs child.

I RSVP’d to my pity party early—and often.

I talked about it. I bathed in it. I marinated in it.

And here’s the truth most people won’t say out loud:

The victim stage has perks.

People listen.

People sympathize.

People validate the “they did it to me” story.

There is a payoff.

The Real Love Diet Question Is Always This:

How is this serving me?

Victim consciousness often shows up as:

• Blaming parents, partners, bosses, teachers, or the weather

• Feeling chronically anxious or on edge

• Replaying regret and shame

• One-upping others’ pain (“Oh yeah? That happened to you? Let me tell you what happened to me…”)

• Telling the same tired story on repeat

These aren’t personality traits.

They’re habits.

Learned patterns.

Conditioned nervous system responses.

And habits can be unlearned.

Even today, this shows up for me. I came home tired, wanting connection, and my husband was absorbed in his crossword puzzle like I didn’t exist. I felt disconnected. Lonely. Invisible.

And I almost blamed him.

But then I caught myself.

Take your power back, Susan.

Instead of rehearsing the blame story, I chose to pause.

Instead of reacting, I pressed the nervous system reset button.

Instead of spiraling, I wrote this entry.

That’s the moment we shift from victim to creator.

The Real Love Diet Shift

The goal isn’t to shame the victim stage.

It’s to outgrow it.

When we stop reacting and start responding, we enter the field of creativity. We calm the nervous system. We transcend anxiety. We loosen our grip on the blame story.

As Viktor Frankl reminded us:

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.”

That space is where freedom lives.

A Conspiracy for Greatness

Instead of participating in:

• A contagion of negativity

• Collective anxiety

• Blame, shame, and regret

What if we participated in something else?

Something good is always trying to happen.

When we elevate our inner state, we elevate the field around us.

When we leave victimhood, we model sovereignty.

When we choose Real Love, we quietly give others permission to do the same.

So today, I’m choosing this:

• I erase and replace the victim story

• I move from to me → by me → through me → as me

• I join a conspiracy for greatness

• I practice contagious positivity

• I stay rooted in Real Love, not reaction

This is the Real Love Diet.

Less blame.

Less reactivity.

More agency.

More consciousness.

More love.

And the moment you notice you’re playing the victim…

You’re already on your way out. 💗