When my son was a toddler he was quite a rebellious little guy. Whatever I told him to do, he would do just the opposite. He was even slapped with a diagnosis which was titled ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder).
My therapist reported to my home every Monday night and taught me about “active ignoring”. She reminded me to turn my attention away from what I didn’t like in my son’s behavior, and through praise and recognition feed what I wanted to magnify.
This spiritual strategy of switching your attention to the behaviors you want to feed in others, not only works with children, but it also works with adults. If you praise and recognize the actions you love and appreciate in others, you can literally watch what you don’t want crumble away.
Yes, it does seem like moral suicide to “turn the other cheek”, but it only fans the fire when we use vengeance in an attempt to stop another’s anger. Remember that what we focus on grows. Am I feeding the behavior I don’t want, or feeding the behavior I do want?
Using LOVE instead of hatred, shame, anger, or revenge is the ultimate medicine for ANY diagnosis. If you drop your sword and “actively ignore” your dislikes in others and yourself, your life will transform before your very eyes. The true revenge is recognizing the Divine in all beings and then watching what you don’t give attention to slowly fade.
-reposted blog from 2014. And YES actively ignoring really works! Even Albert Einstein knew about the magic of ignoring what you don’t like.