Healthy Self-Entitlement


One of the definitions of self-entitlement in the Urban Dictionary is a false feeling someone inherently deserves something despite not having done anything to earn it.

Living in Los Angeles I find there are two types of women and men:

  1. Women and men who believe they have to do nothing but capture a wealthy woman or man and that will solve all of their problems.
  2. Women and men who believe they have to do too much to earn the love of another woman or man in order to get love.

With women and men in first category, I believe these people suffer from the infectious disease here in Los Angeles called self-entitlement. They believe just because they exist, they should be pampered and catered too without question, just because. This may have started in youth by parents coddling their children, and they never learned how to struggle for anything, and it created the monster called entitlement.

Then there are those women and men that suffer from low self esteem, and feel like they have to work twice as hard as anybody else to earn love, because  somehow they received unconscious messages they were not as worthy and had to work for it. 

 Then there are  human beings that sit somewhere in between category one and category two.

 Unfortunately or fortunately, I fit in category two. Throughout my whole adult life I worked very hard for every ounce of self esteem that I have today. Today I love myself in a healthy way.

 Now I am going to talk to you about a phrase I heard my friend Jorid say the other day, and the term is called “healthy self-entitlement”. She fits in category number two and grew up, like myself, with very little self esteem. People with little esteem tend to over give and put everyone but themselves first, until they drop. As people in category two age, they eventually realize that they have to put the oxygen mask on themselves first, otherwise we will end up with a chronic disease or a failing body, mind, and soul. This is where “healthy self esteem” comes into play.

 My friend Jay gives a wonderful example of “healthy self-esteem”. He says that when he drops off chicken soup for a friend, he drops it off at the front door and leaves, so he doesn’t get himself sick. In other words, he takes care of himself and his friend without feeling self centered, encouraging healthy boundaries.

Is there a part of you that feels entitled? Is there a balanced give and take, or are you just a taker? Or are you just a giver? Is there a balance in your life with your spouse, children, friends, and acquaintances, or are your expectations too high of what others are suppose to give you? Can you find “healthy self-entitlement” if you are an over giver? Can you possibly give more to those around you to balance out the scales if you fit the bill for the Urban Dictionary’s description of feeling entitled for doing nothing.

By finding that balance you just might be surprised that all of your relationships will run more smoothly and effectively by having harmony with both the give and take. Give it a try!

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. If you like it please share. Namaste. 

Melissa Heller2015