Reckless Abandon


A woman that I was working with  said she  “abandoned” herself when she was seeking love (in all the wrong places) by having sex with many partners, which led to her sexual addiction. Her actions created recklessness and thoughtlessness for her own self-regard. 

This word “abandon” peeked my interest, as I had never heard of this word used in this context before. It made me ponder how many times I had abandoned myself by doing things that were not healthy for my soul. I hurt myself through  people pleasing, ingesting foods that were harmful, or just simply choosing to ignore my intuition.

How have you abandoned yourself? Have you said “yes” when you meant “no”? Have you lived off junk food, or got sucked into the TV for hours on end neglecting the chores at hand? What about creating drama, so that the focus is off you and onto the others around you so you can deny what is really going on. 

One of my spiritual advisor’s says that, “obsession is denial”. When we are so focused on something outside of ourselves, we are denying or “abandoning” ourselves. 

How do you have disregard for your true self? Being reckless and uninhibited can have disastrous consequences. 

Here is a list on how to honor your own soul:

  1. Spend quality time alone, learning how to become your own best company. Preferably 30 minutes a day alone in nature or meditating.
  2. Pause first before committing to anyone or anything. Tell them that you have to check your calendar and you will get back to them as soon as you do. 
  3. Honor yourself first, and try not to do anything out of obligation or guilt.
  4. Make sure that all actions you take benefit you mentally,  physically, and emotionally.
  5. Take yourself on a date once a week. I learned this from Julia Cameron’s book, “The Artist’s Way”. Treat yourself as if you were the most important person on the planet. You really are number one (by the way) if no one ever told you that before! Take yourself out to a museum, the mountains, a library, or even the movies. Don’t tell anyone, but I am my own favorite company. 
  6. If you are truly your own best company and if you follow your inner compass, you won’t need to abandon yourself.
  7. How can you expect others to like or love you if you don’t like or love yourself. Become your biggest fan and the world will mirror that back to you.

My client eventually quit “abandoning” herself and started to learn self-love instead of getting love through approval seeking behaviors. If she can do it, you can too. Say “yes” to occupying your own soul and “no” to outside obsessions like money, sex, accolades, recognition, and prestige. Soul substance can not be bought, but it can be taught.

I would love to hear how you “abandon” yourself, and how you can remedy the problem. Email me privately at or post your solutions below. I look forward to hearing from you. Namaste

Melissa Heller2015