Forgive & Forget

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

-Gandhi-

I’m pretty sure we all try our best to let most things go, but every once in a while someone does something we just can’t seem to shake off. I remember a certain someone a few years ago who did something to (for) me so wrong there was no way I would ever forgive them because of my justified anger. I carried around that grudge everywhere I went. Oh, how I would think about and rehearse how wronged I was over and over and over again to anyone who would listen. 

Then I had an epiphany… That person I disliked with a vengeance had free rent in my head. I was carrying them and all their negativity around with me all day and night! What good was that doing? Why in the world would I want this person living in my head and in my thoughts all the time? I realized I needed to put this negativity and resentment behind me, re-focus on the positive and evict this nasty person and memory from my head, heart and soul once and for all.

So how do we forgive?

We let go.

We just let go.

Instead of “forgive” we “release.”

--Write their name on a piece of paper and flush it down the toilet.

--Don’t give them free rent in your head. 

--Don’t take anything personally. It’s them, not you.

In other words, you don’t forgive for them. You forgive for yourself.

Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. They are who they are. Release them. Releasing them releases you.

It takes time to acknowledge our feelings and hurt and realize we have a part to play in all this. Taking 100% response-ability for how we react may be our part. Only then can we turn the page and write a new story. Releasing negativity and moving into forgiveness is a process. We get hurt, we feel the pain and then we let it go. Forgive and forget. Establish healthy boundaries, raise the rent and always, always, always go where the love is.

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