Match & Mirror

Are you having a hard time connecting with someone, such as your children, a friend or your spouse? Do you experience challenges with a co-worker or your boss? Do you sometimes feel distant from a friend or even someone you love?

One key to connection lies in matching and mirroring. Meet people where they are, on their level, NOT yours. Use their volume or tone of voice. If they’re speaking loudly, speak loudly. If their tone is softer, be softer. If they’re animated, be animated.

Mirror and match where they’re at. It creates rapport. It shows understanding. It also helps you become more proactive than reactive. If someone is triggering you and you start to emulate them it gets you out of your head and into theirs. People tend to calm down when they recognize themselves. They start listening more and responding better when you match and mirror them.

I learned this years ago when my son was young. He was a very serious child, a big thinker and prone to anger easily. I wanted him to be happy and smiling. I tried all kinds of things to get him to emulate how I felt. But I had it all wrong. I had to meet him where he was. When I finally started matching and mirroring him, I started to understand him better. He knew it and felt it and so did I. My own young son became my first little mirror and matching miracle.

Accept people where they are. Validate their uniqueness and their special qualities by meeting them where they are with no expectations. They are who they are. In other words, give people the dignity of their own path, then mirror and match them so they feel like someone really sees them and gets them.

M&M is a great tool and works with children, friends, bosses and people you love. Connections happen when we show someone it’s about them, not us. It helps us get out of ourselves and creates empathy for others. Give mirror and matching a try and make your own little miracles.

*Please share if you’d like and remember to always, always, always go where the love is. Namaste.