Inside Job
When my son was just two years old, his father passed away suddenly. It was such a difficult time for both of us. I wanted to know how to handle the situation and make it as easy as possible on my son, so I spent some of our limited funds on a home therapist.
Every Monday night she would come over and teach our small family so many little ways and tools that helped get us through the sadness. One technique really made a difference. She taught my son how to “self-soothe” using a blanket or stuffed animal instead of constantly clinging only to me. It happened very slowly, but gradually he was able to adjust and move from “clinging” to independence.
With something to hold onto, he gained roots and then wings.
All of us can learn to self-soothe during these unprecedented times so we can gain wings and fly, too.
Right now it’s essential that we learn how to talk to ourselves differently. We can become our own inner cheerleaders at a time when depression and anxiety are at an all-time high.
Teach yourself to compliment and say good things to yourself. Be your own best friend.
When you look in the mirror, smile at the person looking back at you. Don’t be surprised if they smile back. Wink at yourself and tell yourself how proud of yourself you are and what a great job you’re doing at just being you.
Dr. John Gottman conducted a 20-year study on couples and found that those who spoke positively at least five times more than negatively had happier marriages.
Compliment YOU for a change. Look in the mirror and say:
“Way to stick up for yourself.”
“You look pretty hot in those jeans.”
“You did the right thing.”
“You kicked ass today.”
.“I’m proud of you.”
“You gave it your best.”
“You’re not perfect, but I love you and I’m with you all the way.”
In other words, it is when we stop depending on others that we begin to gain our own independence. I watched it happen in my son. It will happen for you, too.
Love and support others but be sure to love and and support YOU, too.
Happiness will always be an ‘inside’ job. And true happiness comes from WITHIN.♥
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