Panties All Up In A Wad


My alarm went off at 8:30 this Sunday morning, so I could get up and practice yoga at 9:30am. As I woke up and walked to Peet’s coffee, I reflected on the two decades where I rigidly woke up to practice yoga and meditate before my son, Ben, woke up at 5:30 am.

For many years I lived a controlled and tightly scheduled life, that consisted of very little flexibility and fluidity existing in my daily schedule. 

I was attempting to bring  certainty to uncertain circumstances. Not only did I control my schedule of yoga and mediation, but also my diet and my home. My home was immaculate and tidy, my food organic and always from the farmer’s market. Looking back at my life for those two decades, I was in immense fear, and felt I had to control my life and my surroundings, because I felt life was uncertain and shaky. I never knew when the rug was going to be ripped from underneath me and my world would fall apart. Losing my husband was one of the major culprits. 

 Any form of control is fear.

To live a life of faith rather than fear, life must be worn like a loose garment. Being hard-lined with my yoga practice during the years of raising my son, can squeeze the playfulness and joy out of any surrounding. That structure served a temporary purpose to create ritual and routine in my life, but the structure was unyielding and being around that can take someone’s breath away.

 Being uncompromising, stringent, or persnickety might just be a cover up for being afraid. If there is something in your life where you are finding yourself inflexible, I encourage you to go out of your own way and be easy on yourself and easier on others. 

Mix up your schedule, let your hair down, sleep in, eat an occasional sweet, or do yoga at midnight.

Give up condemning others or yourself. Let go of the need to be adamant or inflexible. Play and know the only thing certain is uncertainty.

Structure of my morning alarm clock going off at 5:30 served it’s purpose for years, but now I am choosing to live a life of flow and resilience. Living a life filled with control will suck the air out of any room. Today I am electing to breath without having my panties all up in a wad.

Thank you for reading my blog. To find out more about my local yoga television show, DVDs, downloads, life coaching workshops, and yoga classes please email me for your specific interest at Namaste.

Melissa Heller2015