Did you know that most things are out of our control? In Al-anon, which is a 12 step group for people who have relatives or friends of addicts often say,”We are powerless over people, places and things.”
Have you ever tried to get an alcoholic to stop drinking? How about an overeater to stop eating? What about an acquaintance or friend who has a very difficult personality disorder like narcissism? Not easy and almost impossible, right?
Spiritual teacher Byron Katie ties this conundrum up in a bow when she says, “Arguing with reality is like trying to teach a cat to bark-hopeless.”
People are hardwired by a certain age and trying to change them is like beating your head against a wall or like teaching a cat to bark. It simply is not going to happen unless the other person asks for help and has hit a bottom and decided to make the change.
In Al-anon they teach that you didn’t CAUSE the person’s behavior, you can’t CURE it and you surely can’t CONTROL it. The only thing you can CONTROL is your OWN behavior and your OWN happiness.
The best way to deal with difficult people is to spend as little time as possible with these people, unless you enjoy being left on a plate to be devoured. These people will chew you up and spit you out!
Quit arguing with reality and face the facts that the likelihood of these people changing is like your dog meowing. The odds are against you.
If you find yourself trying to control outside circumstances, know that it’s an inside job! Stop pointing your finger and put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror. Focus on your OWN joy, your OWN peace and your OWN happiness! And remember to ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS go where the love is!
I was way overdue for my chiropractic adjustment. I have a horrible habit of sleeping on my stomach for eight hours, keeping my head twisted to one side.
When I walked into Dr. Joe’s office he asked me a profound question. What if you had only one pair of shoes for your whole life? How would you take care of those shoes? Good question, I thought.
If I only had one pair of shoes for my life span, I would treat those shoes with kid gloves. Those shoes would be polished, resoled when needed, stored in a safe place, and not thrown around like my jackets when I get home.
I can equate my body with those one pair of shoes. My body is for life. Why do I choose to throw occasional junk food in my mouth, not refurbish my body with prayer, or polish my body regularly with yoga and massage.
Thank you Dr. Joe for reminding me that my body is for a lifetime. I will commit to these steps to take care of my body, because it’s not just for a week; It’s hopefully for many decades to come;
1. Start the morning with meditation and prayer.
2. Walk two miles a day.
3. Be kind to myself and hangout with kind people.
4. Appreciate constantly throughout the day and be of service to others.
5. Eat healthy organic food which include lots fruits and vegetables.
6. Practice yoga 6 days a week.
7. Spend time in nature often.
8. Receive monthly massages
9. Wear this list loosely.
Remember, most of us, not all of us, get one pair of arms, hands, legs and feet! Let's take care of our precious body parts because one pair is all we get without intervention!
Namaste. Please share and let me know how you are going to take care of your precious body? Also, always, always, always go where the love is.
Registered Yoga Instructor Certified Life Coach