Vulnerable and desperate was the name of the game, when I could not find out what was wrong with my young son. No stone went unturned while seeking out healers, doctors, naturopaths, homeopaths, and even psychics.
Below are some examples of women I know (not their real names) who are going through similar anguish. See if you identify with the foolhardiness in their decision-making process of how they attempt to find solutions;
“ Jackie” called to ask me if her psychic was right, The fortune teller said her boyfriend was going to come back to her. The backstory is she wanted a commitment and he wasn’t willing to give it, even after many years together. So Jackie walked away from the relationship, hoping he would come back with a ring. It has not happened yet, but she is keeping her fingers crossed.
“Nancy” called me the other day to say she’d seen her fifth holistic alternative doctor, after a car accident. This one said the antibiotics she was taking were trapped in her calves, and that she had to see him three times a week for $300.00 a visit to heal her. She says he is really helping. Maybe it’s the placebo effect...
Then “Lynn”called to tell me she might pay $10,000 to a coach to help her get her business off the ground, even though Lynn does not have two pennies to rub together,
Do you sense a commonality between Jackie, Nancy, and Lynn? They are all coming from a place of desperation, and believe the answers lie outside of themselves. They are fear-based, confused, hopeless and helpless in finding the solution to their problems.
When feeling confused about a lost love, a health challenge, or a business issue, the best idea is to just sit with yourself and go inside. The answer to the problem often can be figured out by taking a big pause and slowing life down. If we sit and go inside, the answer can be found within our soul, rather than writing a big fat check to someone who possibly can only add confusion to our situation and pocketbook.
When you feel like you want the answer NOW through a psychic, healer, or problem-solver look inside! YOU are the psychic, healer, and problem-solver. All the answers come THROUGH you, if you are quiet enough to listen to that soft sweet whisper of your OWN soul.
Put down your checkbook, tarot cards, and phone and sit comfortably, close your eyes, and ask yourself what the answer is. You will not only save a lot of money, but also confusion. You will also take your OWN power back. Know that YOU are truly your own psychic!
Through my years of chasing the answers to my son’s issues, I added fuel to the fire. With my new wisdom, my motto is NEVER take an action or make a big decision if I am in a negative space. First, I must get myself peaceful and calm and then move or act from a state of PEACE. If I’m in a RASH state of mind, I’m going to make RASH choices. If I’m in a PEACEFUL state, I create a PEACEFUL outcome. Pretty simple, huh? Always, always , always move from a state of PEACE.
I am writing this blog about toxic residue, at midnight, because I feel like I need to scrub off the things that I shared tonight at dinner with my two close girlfriends. Why did I bring up the deep wounds of my childhood tonight? Why didn’t I keep it light and polite?
Have you ever had an emotional hangover from talking too much about your past? Do you ever want to keep those ugly parts of your dysfunctional wounds and traumas in the basement of your mind? Sometimes those memories should be left dormant, similar to a coffin being left untouched in the ground.
The main reason why I went digging up an old coffin (so to speak) was because I wanted to chime in on the conversation. I thought if I added my own encyclopedia version of the evening chat, I could spice things up a bit. After all, I have many colorful events that took place in my large Irish Catholic family and the stories are endless and nonetheless entertaining.
At what price do I pay at reciting old wounds and hurts of the past? Haven’t I processed these stories enough in therapy and support groups for years? Telling these same stories over and over again cement memories in our cells, and create only more harm than good. By ruminating in the past, we can actually become stuck in a pattern of repeating or attracting the same situation over and over again. There has to finally be a time of moving on with our lives.
Would you go to the same awful movie twice? Then why do we do that when we rehearse our same misfortune over and over again?
It is time to give up your story and tell a new story. Choose a different path by affirming a future of prosperity, health, and wonderful decisions to get unstuck. Change the channel or turn the page of your life now.
As I sit here, past midnight, regretting the rehearsing of my past pain of my youth, I am leaving those coffins lay dormant. As scripture says, Let the dead bury their dead”. The past has served its purpose, and I have learned those lessons well. It is time to move forward and pave a future of living fully present, without rehearsing previous chapters that have taken place.The new chapters that I am now writing will be filled with wisdom of the lessons learned from my youth, and those movies that were once scary will never be projected on the screen once more.
While I was in Wyoming a few summers back, horseback riding with my siblings, in one of my most favorite places on earth, our guide said something profound that has stuck with me like velcro. This ranch hand told me he had been out there to California, and “All you people are in a hurry going nowhere”. Wow, did that wise Wyoming cowboy nail our neurotic culture!
What would life look like if we didn’t push, force, shove, and try to control every day of our lives? Most of us are too busy managing our lives to actually “live” them. Oh, how we race to heal what we think is broken... How we obsess on what we think we are lacking in our lives.
You are perfect just as you are.
What would it look like if we ceased trying so hard? What if we gave ourselves a break and relaxed a little? Sometimes we push too hard because of our feeling of inadequacy. Another way to put it, we work so hard because we don’t feel we deserve. We need to recognize that we are enough. We just have to love ourselves instead of trying to heal ourselves. What comes with trying to heal ourselves is less self-acceptance. Just let go and let love in.
The horse knows the trail every bit as well as the cowboy. We don’t have to control everything around us. What if we just sit in the saddle and witness the miracles that abound around us. Let’s acknowledge that the sun doesn’t rise in three minutes, nor does it set in only two. Things take time. Life happens without us having to do a thing. Know that sometimes we can drop the reigns and we will arrive at the perfect destination.
You are perfect right where you stand.
Registered Yoga Instructor Certified Life Coach