What if situations were happening in your life "FOR" you rather than "TO" you?
Doesn't it feel so much better to have circumstances happening "FOR" your highest good, rather than "TO" you... making you feel like a victim?
Reframing the negative crap to positive self-talk is a form of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). Its purpose is to release you from the defeating thought patterns like personal blame and shame, which in my opinion is self-abuse.
Be kind with yourself!
When negative stuff inevitably happens "FOR" you, know diamonds are created under pressure, lotus flowers thrive in mud and oak trees grow in strong winds.
We all learn through duality.
Happiness sprouts out of sorrow. Wealth is often birthed out of poverty. Health can flourish after a dire diagnosis.
Know, what you are going through is going to create depth, weight and meaning in your life. You will have wisdom, knowledge and experience to sprinkle on all those around you after conquering your own personal battle.
It all has happened "FOR" you, not "TO" you, so please continue to share your victorious seasoning with the world. Thank you for being YOU!
Thanks for reading and sharing and always, always, always go where the love is. Namaste.
Are you more in love with your past or more in love with your future?
What do you spend more time talking about in your daily life? If you spend more time in the past, then you will probably attract the same experiences, common feelings and looping thoughts.
Whether your past was terrific or ugly, living in the past can keep us at a standstill and being in a rut is NO fun! I invite you to start to remind yourself everyday who you would like to become.
The choice is up to YOU!
As soon as you wake up in the morning use your imagination to create a new YOU. Think thoughts GREATER than how you might feel. Rise above your habitual feelings and consciously choose actions that light you up and gets you dancing, smiling, laughing and celebrating!
When you walk into the unfamiliar and break those stubborn habits of self-pity or blame, before you know it your world is going to begin to shake up and when it stops shaking it is going to resemble a world that resembles your heart's desire.
Begin today to blueprint a new YOU. Who do you want to become in the future? Write down the vision of YOU in the PRESENT moment as if you have already mastered the new you and rehearse it daily!
Stop being "in love" with the OLD you. The past is gone and today you can be, do and have whatever your desire. If you can see it in your mind, believe it. Then rehearsal, rehearse, rehearse and remind yourself who you intend to become.
You will be amazed how becoming a new YOU, you will become.
Thank you for reading and sharing! And remember always, always, always go where the love is. Namaste.
Did you know feeling SIGNIFICANT is one of the most crucial needs of being a human being according to Dale Carnegie.
As humans we need to feel important, valued and special in some way. If we don't we can act out in both positive and negative ways to get attention.
We can get significance through our degrees, hairstyle, personality or even sadly through the use of a gun.
As I ponder humans need for significance, I'm going to choose to be more present with my loved ones, friends, clients and acquaintances.
Here are some tips on how to do that:
1. Put down your cell phone when you are with family or friends. Especially when out dining.
2. Acknowledge others unique qualities that makes them stand outside of the crowd.
3. Voice daily how much you appreciate them, how much you truly love them and tell them
you don't take them for granted.
4. And mean it!
To put the cherry on top of every relationship you can also use zen master Thich Nhat Hanh favorite mantras of deep presence which are:
-"Darling, I am here for you."
-"Darling, I know you are there."
With all this significance talk, I want to tell you how much I appreciate you coming to my website and reading my blogs! I find you deeply valuable in my life because we are kindred spirits in leading a more conscious and loving life! All my love, Susan
In the past I have been consumed with indecision combined with chronic people pleasing. That can be a deadly mix, because I sought out answers to questions that I had, and wanted to make both myself and you happy. What do you think of the guy that I am dating? How should I deal with my son’s tantrums? Should I move to Ojai or Hawaii? Is an antidepressant the right choice for a bad day? The questions relating to my world physically, emotionally, and mentally could go on and on. The answers I received from others were so varied. It only left me more confused and muddled.
Realizing if I asked my friends their advice, I could also blame them if the outcome was not so great. These actions would inevitably send me into a tailspin and I would become paralyzed and frozen with indecision. Living this way for many years I have found a few antidotes to this dilemma.
1. Meditation is the key to finding the cure for my question. Being still in the midst of vacillation is the key. If I quietly ask myself the question and meditate I usually get tremendous clarity.
2. Another tool is called “your emotional guidance system” . It is your innate GPS system in your body that says if you are going in the right direction you feel good. If you feel awful you are inevitably going in the wrong direction. It is a very simple and often a foolproof technique.
3. One of my favorite sayings for my people pleasing is “it is none of my business what you think of me”. It is a very hard quote to live by as a recovering people pleaser. It allows me to be my true authentic self.
4. Do not make any choices are changes when feeling negative emotion. Make sure you are calm and serene in order to achieve the mature choice.
Finally, if you must seek out advice make sure you trust the expert. Let’s say you are seeking parenting advice, make sure your advisors have success in parenting. If you are looking for relationship advice, make sure this wisdom is coming from someone who is in a happy relationship or marriage. If your indecision is about a business, make sure you are confiding in someone who has success in this area.
Most importantly, it is ultimately your choice and your life. The answer lies deep within your own heart and mind. Knock there!
And remember always, always, always go where the love is.
Namaste. Thanks for sharing!
This is not the time to press the snooze button on your alarm clock. This is our planetary wake up call and it is time to jump out of bed and move from competition to cooperation. It is time to convene, congregate and come together NOW in order for humans to survive.
It is time to unite and stop throwing friends, colleagues, neighbors and nations under the bus!
It is imminent that we begin with ourselves, and look at OUR part in what is happening on a global level. Here are some steps you can begin to take:
The planetary alarm clock is ringing NOW and it is time to turn it off! Your awakening is right now! I've have been shaking you to awake. Let's get up and get going to spread some much needed love, prayers and action onto this precious planet which we ALL share.
Thank you for reading and sharing and always, always, always go where the love is.
Did you know the first seven years of your life are encrypted on the hard drive of your soul? Yes, scientists say that 95% of what shows up in your life is from your subconscious mind, which is downloaded from your family of origin and your environment in the first seven years of your life.
Then for the rest of your ongoing decades you work (hopefully) on deprogramming the bugs inherited from your ancestors and relatives that no longer serve you. While spending years decoding these pesky patterns you eventually discover the real you instead of a carbon copy of those people who raised you.
Not sure why our Creator has created this conundrum, but in future blogs some investigations will take place.
How do we decode our subconscious mind and create an authentic expression of who we are without being victims of the first seven years of our lives? Well, the biggest way to do this is through hypnosis, visualization, mindfulness and choosing to repeat new thoughts and new feelings through conscious awareness.
Here is a game you can begin to play today that will download a new reality taking you from the old familiar patterns to new unfamiliar software. Imagine YOU are the main actor in a new blockbuster movie and you are studying the lines, accent, gestures, walk and emotional quality of the person you wish to become. Study diligently everyday how you want to think, feel, be and act as if you are already playing that role, in the NOW. If you want health, walk like you are well. If you want to be in love, feel like you're floating on cloud 9. If you want money: act, dress and think as if you are already rich. Remember the wise words of Buddha, “What you think you become. What you feel you attract. What you imagine you create.”
Choose not to be a victim of the first seven years of your life and start to deprogram your hardware by becoming the main actor in your own play. Imagine a new future now through repeating over and over in your mind a new reality and before long it will become truly yours. Your new download is yours to keep!
Did you know that most things are out of our control? In Al-anon, which is a 12 step group for people who have relatives or friends of addicts often say,”We are powerless over people, places and things.”
Have you ever tried to get an alcoholic to stop drinking? How about an overeater to stop eating? What about an acquaintance or friend who has a very difficult personality disorder like narcissism? Not easy and almost impossible, right?
Spiritual teacher Byron Katie ties this conundrum up in a bow when she says, “Arguing with reality is like trying to teach a cat to bark-hopeless.”
People are hardwired by a certain age and trying to change them is like beating your head against a wall or like teaching a cat to bark. It simply is not going to happen unless the other person asks for help and has hit a bottom and decided to make the change.
In Al-anon they teach that you didn’t CAUSE the person’s behavior, you can’t CURE it and you surely can’t CONTROL it. The only thing you can CONTROL is your OWN behavior and your OWN happiness.
The best way to deal with difficult people is to spend as little time as possible with these people, unless you enjoy being left on a plate to be devoured. These people will chew you up and spit you out!
Quit arguing with reality and face the facts that the likelihood of these people changing is like your dog meowing. The odds are against you.
If you find yourself trying to control outside circumstances, know that it’s an inside job! Stop pointing your finger and put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror. Focus on your OWN joy, your OWN peace and your OWN happiness! And remember to ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS go where the love is!
I was way overdue for my chiropractic adjustment. I have a horrible habit of sleeping on my stomach for eight hours, keeping my head twisted to one side.
When I walked into Dr. Joe’s office he asked me a profound question. What if you had only one pair of shoes for your whole life? How would you take care of those shoes? Good question, I thought.
If I only had one pair of shoes for my life span, I would treat those shoes with kid gloves. Those shoes would be polished, resoled when needed, stored in a safe place, and not thrown around like my jackets when I get home.
I can equate my body with those one pair of shoes. My body is for life. Why do I choose to throw occasional junk food in my mouth, not refurbish my body with prayer, or polish my body regularly with yoga and massage.
Thank you Dr. Joe for reminding me that my body is for a lifetime. I will commit to these steps to take care of my body, because it’s not just for a week; It’s hopefully for many decades to come;
1. Start the morning with meditation and prayer.
2. Walk two miles a day.
3. Be kind to myself and hangout with kind people.
4. Appreciate constantly throughout the day and be of service to others.
5. Eat healthy organic food which include lots fruits and vegetables.
6. Practice yoga 6 days a week.
7. Spend time in nature often.
8. Receive monthly massages
9. Wear this list loosely.
Remember, most of us, not all of us, get one pair of arms, hands, legs and feet! Let's take care of our precious body parts because one pair is all we get without intervention!
Namaste. Please share and let me know how you are going to take care of your precious body? Also, always, always, always go where the love is.
Many of us don't have perfect lives. Some of us have or have had severe to moderate health issues, financial problems or relationship struggles, at one time or another. It is called the human condition! We all have our good and our not so good, times. It is simply just a part of life.
We may compare and despair about how some people have all the luck, while we seem to have no luck. But, we ALL get a turn at the bottom of the barrel! I don't care who you are, if you are reading this you have experienced some form of "the dark night of the soul". Thank goodness we are not ALL at the bottom of the barrel at the same time so we can lift each other up intermittently.
When going through difficult times, remember many have gone before you and have felt as you have. It may feel like you are the ONLY one suffering, but believe me, it is simply not true. Life can be difficult for EVERYONE. Some hide it better than others. Your circumstances may look different from the outside world, but you are not terminally unique in your thoughts, feelings, and situations. Reach out and share your pain with others, because it will not only help you, but it will give someone else the opportunity to help as well. You are actually doing the listener a favor by opening up and being vulnerable.
Balance is the key. It’s not so healthy to keep everything buried inside, and it's not advisable to vomit toxic feeling onto others. Finding supportive and loving people to share fears and faith with, is key.
When you are going through tough stuff, remind yourself to stay in the here and now. Take it one breath at a time. Focus on the colors, smells, and sounds of your environment. Become one with your surroundings. Then rehearse in your mind all the things that you are grateful for. Do you have a roof over you? Do you have a pillow for your head at night? Do you have running water or paved roads? Do you have eyes to read this blog? If so, you have a lot to appreciate.
Our daily bread is all we need. Don’t worry about tomorrow’s bread or yesterday’s bread. It is our DAILY bread. Today is all we have, so make the most of it. Celebrate just this day and this day only! Light a candle, take a walk, fly a kite, dance around your house, or do something for someone else and don’t get found out doing it! Everything is going to be all right. I promise.
PS. Remember to always go where the love is. If you feel alone and at the end of your rope there is always help. Find a counselor, a 12 step meeting or come to Susan Foxley's "F*CKED UP to FIXED UP" workshops.
Did you know the number one remedy for anxiety is action? If you feel like you are about to jump out of your skin here are a few remedies:
1. Take a 1 to 2 mile walk.
2. Clean a closet or throw in a load of laundry.
3. Call a friend and meet for a cup of tea.
4. Clean out a drawer.
5. Put on your favorite song and dance around the house.
6. Do something for someone else and don't get found out.
7. Read some of Susan Foxley's previous blogs to uplift your soul at susanfoxley.com.
If you are feeling anxious, depressed or unworthy get up and move. It is the cheapest and least expensive anti-depressant you can find!
If you rest you rust emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.
Although, if these tips are not helping please seek professional help to navigate you out of this temporary problem. Remember, you may feel like it will last forever, but I promise it will pass!
Get moving as if you life depended on it, because it does! Action is WD-40 for the soul!
Registered Yoga Instructor Certified Life Coach